vignesh mohankumar

Values

It feels like saying “values-aligned” is too limiting. Most of the time, people can’t express their actual values, what they mean to them, or how they affect their relationships with others. It’s better to share a vision you see for your future, and let someone visualize it with you. Much more realistic to see if there’s a connection that way.

Change

People change, but never in the ways we expect. If there’s a behavior from someone that doesn’t work for you, pushing and punishing them are the least likely to shift them. If anything, it might actively be doing the opposite. The cases I’ve seen where people meaningfully shift their mindset happened on their own. I need to try to accept people for who they are a bit more.

Tradition

Modernity confuses me sometimes. The way we look at romantic love, ambition, and individuality is a relatively new concept. When it feels like it’s not working for me, I wonder if maybe people in the past had things right that we missed. But then, when I learn enough about what “tradition” actually led to, it’s obvious that it’s not as simple as defaulting to the past. I think we owe it to ourselves to question aspects of modernity that feel wrong to us without being fully opposed to change.

Focus

I’m totally unable to fake focus; it has to be real. In the past, not having this led to procrastination and lack of energy, because I really didn’t care about what I was doing. I’ve been working for myself for a few years now, and I’ve found a few things that add energy: writing code, working on new problems/areas, teaching something that inspires someone, feeling valued, and working with the best people.

Imagery

Much of how humans live and make decisions is not based on morals, values, or reasoning. Rather, they make decisions based on imagery. Visions they grew up around, aesthetics they wanted to live with. The myths and stories we grew up around and idealized (our origin stories) affect so much of what we look for as we grow up. Realizing this has helped me understand why I want certain things for myself.

Identity

I grew up with a dual identity. The traditional Tamil/Indian origin I had in my house growing up, and the modern American life that I had everywhere outside of it. For years, I tried to find a perfect blend of the two for myself. The problem was that those two cultures often actively contradict each other, so decision-making felt nearly impossible. Sometime this year, I realized instead that I am both 100% Tamil and 100% American. Now, I let myself be drawn to either side as needed, and see it as a benefit that I can have inspiration from both.

Perspective

I’ve learned the most when I’ve shared my life experiences with people I trust, and been truly open-minded to how they’d react to the same thing. Not that I look to them to make decisions for me, but I genuinely see a different lens I could use. Sometimes I’ll shift my views based on what a friend told me in a random conversation years before. Every time I find another person I can do this with, my life exponentially improves.