vignesh mohankumar

I’ve had most of these learnings over the past couple of years. It might be useful to you, but it’s definitely Just My Opinion. You can message me if you want to talk about any of these.

Fitness

Your body will decay faster than you think it will. After spending almost no effort on fitness through college I couldn’t get to my 3rd floor walkup without being exhausted. Now I know I have work out every week for the rest of my life to be able to play with my grandkids. The best hack for this is to pick some sport you find fun, then find a coach to tell you what to do.

Frugality

There’s a difference between avoiding lifestyle inflation (frugality) and spending nothing (cheap). Nickel-and-diming your friends isn’t worth it. Spending hours on errands to save a few bucks isn’t worth it. A mediocre haircut isn’t worth it.

Values

A strong belief system is one of the best things you can have. At the same time, expecting others to have the same values is unreasonable. Be comfortable making decisions others don’t agree with based on your values.

Ambition

The world has (almost) no rules to follow. There’s no moral obligation to “achieve” anything in particular. I used to, and still do, feel an immense pressure to prove something to People. It can be helpful to try and list out who those People are, because usually it’s less people than you thought. Your ambition can be whatever you want it to be.

Jealousy

It’s easy to get frustrated by others’ success. If you’re in the right group of people, your friends will inevitably be successful. The only thing that’s helped me is to become more self-motivated than externally-motivated. That way it’s possible to be legitimately excited when things go well for them.

Attractiveness

This is mostly meant to be a thought on dating. I spent most of my life thinking people should judge me purely on my personality rather than how I look. Then I realized if I judge someone even 1% on how they look, I couldn’t get upset for someone judging me 99% on how I look. I’ve found this makes dating a lot less stressful.

Confidence

There’s a difference between being arrogant and being confident. Trying to prove yourself by picking battles is probably better than being a pushover. Ultimate confidence is not needing the validation from others at all.

Milk

Somehow I’m allergic to every cow milk and nut milk I’ve tried. Pretty annoying, so let me know if you have suggestions.

Relationships

A few realizations here…

• The nature of a friendship can change over time. It’s healthy to accept change, and it’s not necessarily permanent.
• One friend won’t satisfy all your needs. It’s best to know who you can rely on for what.
• Your friends probably don’t need the same thing they give you.
• Avoid grudges.

Distractions

A good sign of not being focused is having distractions take up a lot of energy. It’s not to say 100% of your time needs to be productive. It’s worth finding ways to spend time on what matters to you most.